Friday, July 16, 2010
Romantic Cues
When I look at people in terms of romantic partners I have to say that the things that strike me as attractive have changed. This may seem obvious to some, but for me my desires have changed with time, life stages, and intellectual aptitude. I can completely see how proximity plays a pivotal role in influencing romantic partner possibilities. I don’t want to try to date someone I’ll rarely see. As for preinteraction cues I look for someone who cares about their physical appearance, but doesn’t hold it in such high importance that it consumes them. Once we begin the interaction phase I want someone who will challenge me without trying to dominate every situation. I also look for someone who is well rounded in their ability to hold a conversation, views of the world, and friendships. Cognitive cues are by far the most important. I look for someone that has a passion for life, values family, and understands commitment.
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I can relate to you when you say that the things that used to be attractive to you now aren't. I think that a lot of that change comes with getting older and realizing what you really want out of a relationship. I think while growing up we put a lot more emphasis on the way we look and as with age, looks fade. If you don't have a strong friendship, you will have nothing in the end. I can appreciate all your values on passion for life, values family and understands commitment when looking for a romantic partner.
ReplyDeleteIt is true personal values and opinions change with time, and as we get older it seems commitments are evaluated differently. Now a days short lived flings aren't worth while if you can't get along with the person. After so many bad relationships, I changed how I looked at people for a romantic partner and found a great man without even looking for him. :) He found me once I stopped trying so hard to make a relationship happen. Friendship is truly what makes a relationship last the longest. When you can do nothing with someone, but still have a good time. While you also enjoy sharing wild adventures and other common interests. There has to be cognitive cues, shared values, beliefs, and interests, in order to make a relationship survive.
ReplyDeleteI agree that experience tends to change how we see things. What seemed appropriate five years ago might not be so now. I also see my taste in women changing. Priorities change and things that weren't important then now are. It may also be due to experience. I now tend to stay away from the types of women that I know it will not work out with. Before I don't think I gave that much thought.
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