Nonverbal tells

Nonverbal communication isn’t something we can turn off. It is one of those things that people send years trying to study and master as it can give you subtle insight into individuals. Think out a professional poker player, and every time you hear someone talk about trying to understand an opponents tell. In this way they are trying to understand the nonverbal cues that their opponent cannot stop from happening. Unlike our ability to watch what we are saying, at least some of us, nonverbal communication really shows our emotions immediately. Often I find that they happen without thought, so in this way my nonverbal cues can get me in trouble. A year or so ago I was having a one on one with my boss and he mentioned that during a meeting I would shift my posture whenever a particular person would speak. He knows that I had some difficulty working with this person, but suggested that I be careful because my cues were so apparent. Needless to say I had no idea I was doing that.

Gender Based Conversation

I do think that men and women typically use language differently. I can see this in my own relationship with my wife very clearly in situations where I come home and she lays into me about my day and all the details. Many times I simply want to be more private about the failures, but this is something that I have been actively trying to shift. The text says that the majority of men use rapport talk while women use report talk. In this way I can see how the genders have been stereotyped, but UI don’t think it is something that we either can’t or shouldn’t want to shift. I would love it if at times my wife could be a little more straight forward, and conversely I think she would love it if I would be more relational in my conversation. This does not mean that we should all try to communicate in the same way, however, there is some room for shared understandings.

Perceive others

I don't think it is possible to have an interaction with someone or something without automatically judging it in some way. This is the only way we can understand what we see, and the meanings behind them. The text says, “When we focus on a portion of the sensory world, we immediately label and categorize what we have perceived.” (pg 50) We use what is called schemata to define what we see based on a shared social understanding.
I do believe we can judge things more fairly by simply slowing down our though process, and taking the time to reevaluate what we see for that moment without judging to harshly on our past experiences. The text says that we should, “recognize how complex perception is and how easy it is to get things wrong.” (pg 54) In this way we can take the following step by reading up on, or getting updated on ideas prior them taking place. This allows us to focus on what is, rather than what we think it is.

Sharing Understanding

I think that we "build worlds" through communication mainly due to the fact the we use communication to create culturally accepted meanings. At first I though this sounded a lot harder than it is. The cornerstone of building a common understanding in any cultural is shared experiences. We do this through a varity of ways such as the United States's concept of pedestrians always have the right away when crossing the street. In Italy you take your life into your own hands when crossing the street, but in the U.S. it is ingrained through our experiences growing up, drivers training, and state laws.

These shared ideas taken for granted, however, I beleive that our personal happiness is tied to them. It is how we feel safe, and more over it empowers each of us to go out into the big crazy world with some sence of comminality and confidence. Without a sence of shared meaning we would have to recreate the world every time we left the house.

Speech Design

In chapter 10 we read about how a good speech comes together, and what elements to think about as we design it. One concept seems to stick out for me more than the rest, audience adaptation. I think this is a key concept mainly because the entire point of a speech is to reach and influence the audience, so adapting your concept to those listening can make or break our ability for that message to resonate. The text says that we should think about the following three things, “its central idea and structure, its supporting materials, and its style.” (pg 278) We read about a host of situations that would require the speaker to tailor their speech in one way or another, and each situation holds a different challenge. My favorite quote says it all, “It is not a good idea to try to clarify a concept by comparing it to a computer if the people in your audience are computer illiterate.” (pg 279)

Influential Speakers

I can think of a number of speakers over the years that have influenced my in profound ways. I think it’s important, as the text says, to understand whom you’re speaking to, however, when someone like the President of the United States speaks it is impossible to understand/craft a perfectly tailored speech. One person that I thought was a profound speaker was Michael Pollan. He spoke on the Stanford campus a year or so ago about the nature of what we eat, and the long-term effects it has on the planet, our bodies, and our communities. He was so passionate and well spoken that I found myself drawn to his every word.

One of the worst speakers I’ve had the opportunity to hear was a stand up comedian of all people. Here is a person that speaks to audiences for a living, and in the heart of San Francisco he thought it would be a great idea to crack jokes about homosexuals. Not only that, I would swear he was under the influence of something.

Timing, understanding the audience, passion, and a firm understanding about the subject are all things I think assist in a great speech.

Introduction

Hello world,

Even though my wife set up a blog about a year ago so we could document the trials and tribulations of being first time parents, I've only posted one entry. Recently I have been getting more and more interested in the idea of sharing my thoughts with the world mainly because I think the time spend writing down my thoughts would help me slow down enough to reflect. I find that between work, school, family, and friends I tend to spend less and less time thinking about my own life. I used to look for quiet places so I could consider the implications of my interactions with the world. Every now and agin when I have a free second, mostly on my drive home, I feel bits of remorse simply because I know how great life is, but I've allowed myself to get so upset over something trivial.

This class forces me to slow down enough to gather my thoughts. So I can say that one of the things I look forward to most is the reflection time. I've take a fair number of online classes due to scheduling, but the more I take the more I enjoy the ability to learn at my own pace. It's fortunate that I'm a self starter, and procrastination is not something I enjoy.

Thank you world for listening, and I look forward to getting to know everyone.