Cyber Buddies!

I have yet to create a new friend from cyberspace. I have, however, maintained a few friendships with the help of social networking sites such as Facebook. I think this has come easier to me because I already place value on these people, and really that value comes in the form of time. The rest of my life is fairly full, and the idea of trying to find new friendships via the web sounds tiring. I never really understood the point of establishing whom you are in written terms mainly because I always seem to have a harder time expressing myself in written in comparison to in person conversation. I think I just enjoy watching people so much that it seems like half the fun of getting to know someone and hanging out with them would be immediately, and needlessly, eliminated. I think it made sense when this was the only way to gather or share information from a great distance, but we can share so much more these days with modern technology.

Choosing a Leader

As I read chapter seven I found myself drawn to the idea of leader emergency. In the text we hear about Fisher’s idea of leader emergence in terms of participant elimination. Does this really seem right? Haven’t you ever been in a situation where you simply never wanted to even speak let alone be the leader of a group? However, I suppose that at the onset of any discussion all participants could be considered in equal contention for the noteworthy honor of leader. Fisher goes on to tells us that he believes all initial conversation is a bid for the spot, and natural attrition begins to set in. Eventually people drop out in order to take on other roles, and finally one person, potentially with the help of his/her group, take the lead. Then the tough task of leading the group towards accomplishment sets in. Hopefully the group chose the right person.

Romantic Cues

When I look at people in terms of romantic partners I have to say that the things that strike me as attractive have changed. This may seem obvious to some, but for me my desires have changed with time, life stages, and intellectual aptitude. I can completely see how proximity plays a pivotal role in influencing romantic partner possibilities. I don’t want to try to date someone I’ll rarely see. As for preinteraction cues I look for someone who cares about their physical appearance, but doesn’t hold it in such high importance that it consumes them. Once we begin the interaction phase I want someone who will challenge me without trying to dominate every situation. I also look for someone who is well rounded in their ability to hold a conversation, views of the world, and friendships. Cognitive cues are by far the most important. I look for someone that has a passion for life, values family, and understands commitment.

Partners

I cannot imagine that a long-term relationship could survive in any sort of healthy manner if partners only held to a rigid complementarity, competitive symmetry, or submissive symmetry pattern. If I had to guess I would say that the worst of the three styles would be the competitive symmetry mainly because there would always be this desire to dominate the other. A agree that some form of competition can drive people to push beyond preconceived ideas, however, at what point would you slow down enough to appreciate life around you.
I would also guess that the submissive symmetry would be the most damaging to one’s self-esteem mainly because you would no longer have a sense of personal identity. Without some form of personal identity than a person is no longer a person, but a mechanical robot. I believe that we all need to stand up and ask/fight for what we want because it is rare that anyone else will do it for you.

Panel Discussions

The panel discussion can be a very valuable tool for when trying to better understand and share information about a certain topic. The idea is simple in concept, but the execution can vary widely based on the moderator, the panelists, and the audience. The text says, “The key to moderating or participating in a panel is to be well informed, to listen carefully to others, and to make sure the discussion is coherent.” (p. 205) One of the best panel discussions I have had the opportunity to listen to was about sustainable fishing practices. The moderator was an environmental law professor who was well spoken, and well informed about the subject. The panelists varied to include a member of the Monterey Bay Aquarium fish watch, a culinary instructor, a representative of the Alaska fishermen’s group, and a writer who had just finished a book all about sustainable fishing practices around the world. The discussion was so informative that I can easily say everyone walked away more informed than when they had walked in, and they enjoyed it.

Images of Self

I believe that we as human beings want to achieve perfection, and that is one of the things that drives us to explore, change, and improve. I have a hard time with the idea that we are born into sin, and that is our driving force. I just don’t like to think that my 8 month old son is sinful. The rationality premise is something that I think has a lot of merit. This idea, “the belief that most people are capable of discovering the truth through logical analysis,” (p. 353) is a cornerstone in American culture. The text tells us that, “many American institutions, including democracy, trial by jury and free enterprise,” (p. 353) are all born out of the rationality premise. Finally, the mutability premise is a basic concept in communication theory, shared understanding/meaning. This concept tells us that we are molded from a external influences and that the only way to improve our lives is to better those influences.

Shared Culture

I would say that I only half agree with Ruth Benedicts’s statement about how we are creatures shaped by our culture. I would agree that culture is shared, and in that the text says, “we learn very early to separate the world into “us” and “them,” and we work very hard to make sure that others recognize which of the two we are.” (p. 344) This is something I have seen in many instances, and I think it is probably tied to our inherent human desire to be a part of something larger. The text also says, “Because cultures are shared, we are not entirely free to act as we wish.” (p. 344) This is where I disagree, and disagree fairly strongly. I believe that we all have the power to choose to be who ever we want, but the truth of the matter is that there are repercussions from anything we do. It is like Newton’s third law, to every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction